im nt suppose to be here

bt yet, here i m on9. Tisk tisk. Having quiz tmr n nt having 100% confidence yet im here on9??? Being able to online is lyk a drug addict.

First of all, i love u bro. Thanks for letting me to use da guitar u are currently using muakkkks. N i din noe tat v can chat on phone for more than half hour haha, wat a brother-sista talk.;D

May everything goes well for u. Hope tat u can chase ur dream to study in german. Love ya.



luv,
lovely sista

ouchh

Ouch i did it again. Plaster uhu bum pva glue hot glue gun??? Stick my shattered heart back into shape please...why does it hurt again? The only way i can pause da pain was by calling my mum for some chit chats...bt after that it strikes again. I wasnt suppose to be in this way, its against all rules of nature!! Come on chyng, befor it gets deeper PLEASE TAKE UR FREAKING FOOT OF DA SINKING BOAT!!! Mood swing mood swing please get away from me. Im trying so hard to endure u bt u dont seem to get any further away from me u mood swing.

For once when i thought everything will get better it just gone worse. I WANT TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE. Pain is part of growing up rmb? Enjoy ur life chyng please, dun be such a pessimist or sensitive girl, u dont hav spare time for that. I seriously feel lyk scolding myself. APPRECIATE EVERYTHING U HAV NOW CHYNG!!!!!!! WHEN WILL U LEARN???? Theres no need to hope for more kay??? Hope fails me so dont hope much!!!! damn it. Wth r u doin chyng?

I nid a guitar, i nid sarah and a quiet moment with god. (Inspire me Mitch!!!!!!) ;D smile smile smile lalalalla crap crap crap hahaha okay i feel better now haha!! Crap crap crappppppppp. I want to laugh deperately now, laughing is a vy effective medicine. Any1 please feed me with laughter!!! Laugh laugh laugh.

(damn it, it doesnt reli work huh?) U chyng, is goin to think of something to settle this emo-ish thingy. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Okay, im goin to scream to da sky outside my room later!)

But somehow...i stil feel lyk crying...

luv,
chyng
12/9 17:06

Climb-ed

Lets say hurray for me!!!;D I climbed up da dark dark well with faith n joy.;) It stil hurts a little somewhere in da corner of my heart, bt in da process of growing, according to father Clamen, v pain. Yeah, pain is part of growing!;D

I fell in love with reading recently, thanks to a friend tat introduce me this book. Thanks jar.;D 'Tuesdays with Morrie", by Mitch Albom. Damn his writing, it freaking makes sense!!;)

Well, da thing i seriously learn from it was, yeah, feel da emotion, detach from it and step away. Its ok to cry to burst when u feel lone or in sorrow. Once u feel it, alright, u felt it n u noe how it felt. N now its time to detach it from urself, and step away.;) Well it inspires me alot n i even told my mum bout it. She was hapi for me.;)

I nvr knew tat talking to my mum can be so helpful in curing my ill heart. Thanks god with maxis family plan i can call her whenever i want.;) For once i told her how i really feel deep down my heart when i face emo problems, n gladly, she brights up my day.;) Aww mummy, i love you. Another thing tat mitch says, without da love from ur family, u hav almost nothing. (sounds something like tat.XD)

N you noe wat??? Im goin to freaking donate my blood tomorrow!!!!!! Scared? yeah a little. Bt happy tat im goin to make a good deed. Went for sort of register today, i was almost categorised as underweight! Thank god im ngam ngam 45kg muahahah. U go girl! Blood oli ma~XD Da sweat thing was i nid to seek permission cuz im stil under 18, since no parents here i'll hav to find my mentor haha wat a cute culture.;)

Kaykay, thats all for today!;) (Gosh it reminds me of zhong kai's mum!XD) I think i'll be blogging quite often now, my roommate has a broadband!;3



full of love,
chyng*
9/8 21:13

Too deep

I fall too deep into this black hole...a deep black well. People are just too innocent, i cant believe i fall for that! It hurts so much leaving me sitting alone in dark dont now wat to do. Oh god, im da stupidest person in da world. How could i fall for that??? Theres no one to lend me a string to pull me up, theres no one to call for no one hope for...cause it was my own mistake, my own wrong footstep. U r ridiculous chyng, damn it. How m i suppose to climb up to see da bright sky again? I was hurt so badly and tears are pulling me backwards. Oh god...please help me out from this darkness...im so scared...so lone... I fall too deep.T.T

Sigh. I better get to shower now, no one would spot me crying there...



The well is filled with tears of sorrow n stupidity...


luv,
ridiculous me

So not right

This is so not right!!! I wanna scream lyk hell... Its seriously time to stick with a permanent group...T.T It just felt so wrong when u r in a gruop bt u werent into what they were talking about. Why am i there with them again? Finding same keys pal aint easy for me. Oh chyng u r really a failure. N since theres no more 'love ones' for me to release my sour thoughts instantly, things just get worse...

But in every moment, i would remind myself with a short quote of my own.

'wo hui wei zi ji huo de geng jian qiang!' (cant type n chinese, XD)

Dont juz quote, make it happen! Chyng u muz jiayew.



luv,
me